did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you traded sex for a burrito?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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