...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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