My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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