she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
