kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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