Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
