your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
