I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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