Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I party with great urgency now.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
