real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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