I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
