I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
