So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
