ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
