I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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