Small penises have feelings too.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
