I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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