scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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