Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
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I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
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WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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