i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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