i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the condom got lost in my hair
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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