bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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