loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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