Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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