The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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