Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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