i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
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I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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