I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
