omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
