I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
