Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
