Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
