I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
vagina is talking i cant
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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