Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
im on a boat
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