i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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