They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
he was CRYING into my vagina
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
