If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
