so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
