If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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