im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize