I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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