the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
