I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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