I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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