i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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