her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
A+ Viking dick
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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