took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
