Duck Duck Cougar?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
