Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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