Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
