4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
