it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
