I looked at my own cervix.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
My vagina just recognized that song.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
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