Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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