we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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