i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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