Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
