this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize